Chris' Blog

Networking is a great way to get your business and your name known, find new potential strategic partners, and to surface some prospects. But networking isn't just about finding prospects. You know that, and I know that. Pretty much everyone in business knows that, right?

Wrong.

I was at a business networking event a few weeks ago, ready to meet lots of new people to add to my ever-growing network of colleagues, clients, alliance partners, prospects, and contacts.

I spoke to another marketing professional, and we chatted about getting together so that we could refer to each other. (Hey, not every person who wants marketing help wants to work with ME, so I like to have a few good marketing experts in my network to whom I can refer with confidence.)

I traded jokes and business cards with a charming husband-and-wife life insurance sales team. I have a great relationship with my own insurance lady, but she isn't right for everyone, so I was happy to spend a few minutes getting to know these two nice people. I will definitely send business their way.

And then I was approached by one of the smiling hosts of the networking event. She asked me what I do (although I got the feeling that she didn't listen to my response), and asked me for my card.

Then she asked me if I had heard of a certain type of make-up and skin care line that is sold exclusively through personal sales reps. I said yes, and mentioned that I my wife was wearing a lipstick from that line at that very moment.

Her smile turned into pursed lips, and a crease appeared between her eyebrows as she looked at me for a moment. Then she (rather abruptly) asked the name of my sales rep.

You probably won't believe this, but she returned my business card to me, because (and I'm just paraphrasing here) she had no reason to keep it if I was already working with a competitor.

No interest in finding out whether I might have anything to offer HER.

No interest in asking if I knew anyone who meets her ideal client profile (and who may not want to work with my sales rep, because of location, age, personality, or whatever reason).

No interest in getting to know me, period, because she saw no immediate sales potential in me.

I don't think I need a crystal ball to predict that this woman is not going to win the "Networker of the Year" award. And she isn't doing her business any favors, either.

Because networking isn't about making sales or setting up sales appointments on the spot -- it's about developing relationships. It's about becoming known, liked, and trusted.

It is not about what I will buy from you right now, or what you will buy from me tomorrow, it is about adding resources to our business tool boxes. And those resources are so much more than just one-time sales (and they certainly contribute to sales); they are intangibles like support, referrals, suggestions, introductions, tips, information, mentoring, advice, and alliances.

The bottom line is this: The value of networking isn't in the potential of an on-the-spot sale -- it's the relationship.

The woman who returned my card saw no value in knowing me. She had no idea how very many people I know, how open I was to referring to her, and how access to my network could help her build her business. And now, she will never find out.

That's a networking lesson worth learning.

Carpe diem,

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So you emailed me, and waited patiently for me to reply, but I didn't.  Hours went by, then days, and finally more than a week (or a month) had passed, and you were still waiting for some sign that I had received, read, or at least noticed your message.

But, no such luck.  No response, no reaction, no nothing.  And perhaps you felt mad, disgusted, offended, hurt, or just plain disappointed that I ignored you.

Bummer.  I feel your pain, because I've been there, too.  But if I didn't respond to your message, you deserve to know why, and here's the deal.

Basically, I did not recognize your email as "real" email.  For some reason, it looked like spam or junk.  My filter may have helped me come to that conclusion, but a variety of other reasons could have contributed to my decision to hit the Delete key before opening and reading your message.

After having worked with many clients, as you can imagine, I get a lot of email.  Despite a great filter, I still get a lot of spam, so I have to exercise my best judgment when choosing which emails to open, and which to delete.

Here's what I consider spam:  Unsolicited sales information (no, I do not need Viagra or super vitamins), pleas for help from complete strangers (sorry, sire, but I can't provide you with my bank account number so you can move your fortune out of the country before the natives get really restless), and viruses (yes, I understand that you are a complete but unrecognized genius but I don't care, you pimply-faced snot-nosed hacker rat; get a life!).

Good friends can send me information that I might find amusing, helpful, or just something I need to know, but so far nobody I know, like, and trust, has tried to sell me Viagra, get my bank account number, or give me a computer virus.  Complete strangers have written to me and become clients, friends, and valued colleagues, but we connected because I could tell at a glance that their email messages were legit.

So it's not all email, just certain stuff that throws up the red flags in my inbox.

Here are my criteria for automatic deletion, and if you recognize yourself, my apologies for nuking your message:

No sender name or identification.  If you haven't bothered to set up your email properly so that your name appears as the sender, it is dangerous for me to open your emails.  Either you are a spammer, or you are so techno-phobic that you might make bad decisions regarding your own computer hygiene, so my computer is at risk when accepting messages from you. Uh huh.

Unfamiliar (and weird) sender name.  Would you open an email message from Misalliance M. Checkbook?  I wouldn't, and you shouldn't either, unless you want a virus.

No subject line.  Again, a potential problem, unless I know you personally and know you to be so quick on the draw that you consistently send out messages before writing the subject line.  Otherwise, no dice.

First name only in subject line.  If I don't already know you, I will assume that your message is spam unless the subject line tells me otherwise.  If I am undecided, I will check the properties of your sender name just to see who you are, and if I don't know you, I hit the Delete key without another thought.

Obvious misspellings in the subject line.  Again, if I already know you, chances are I will open this email if the misspellings make sense, but if I don't know you (or at least recognize your email address), that message with the weird spellings and punctuation goes right into the Deleted Items folder.

Sender name as subject line.  OK, I know that some of you sent me messages with your name as the subject line, but so does every rich widow, deposed prince, and exiled sheik in the world who wants my bank account number, and I am not willing to read one more of those messages.  Not that I ever fell for the I-need-you-to-hold-my-50-billion-dollar-fortune-while-I-fight-the-forces-of-evil story, but I am offended by the very nature of these messages, and refuse to open them.  If your message got nuked with that trash, now you know why.

My name or web address as subject line.  Oh please!  Could it BE any more obvious that's it's a solicitation?

Nonsensical subject line (usually in all lower case).  Bottom line, I'm not so curious that I am willing to be inconvenienced, bored, or annoyed, so this ploy doesn't work for me.

Lewd or objectionable subject line.  I don't like to think of myself as a prude, but I do not appreciate lewdness, bigotry, racism, or intolerance from anyone.  Bye bye!

A RE: or FWD: in subject line from a sender I don't recognize.  If I haven't already been in touch, why would there be a RE: in the subject line?  Clever monkeys, these spammers.  Same with forwards; why would a complete stranger forward a message about some great deal to me?

It goes right to my Junk Mail folder.  Yes, once in a while I catch a "real" email in my Junk Mail folder, but often I just nuke 'em all after a quick scan.  Hey, I'm busy!

OK, not all ignored email is spam, and here a couple of special cases with explanations:

I didn't get it.  It could happen, and it does.  Even mail I have sent myself from home doesn't always make it here, so please give me the benefit of the doubt on this.

Unsolicited newsletter.  Here's the deal: I get a lot of newsletters.  A LOT.  And I have the majority of them sent to my newsletter email address, so that I can read them at my leisure, and so my inbox does not overflow with email.  But for some reason, some people who get my business card at a networking event or whatever feels justified in adding me to their mailing lists without my permission.  I find this...fatiguing.  So fatiguing that I will unsubscribe or just hit Delete. 

My email bounced back because your mailbox was full or your ISP doesn't like my ISP.  Why can't they all just get along?

You wrote just to tell me how much I stink.  Well, you're entitled to your opinion, just as I am entitled to mine, and my opinion is that flaming emails (and the like) are simply not worth acknowledging. 

So there you have it (or not).  Every once in a while an email gets lost in my inbox (sorry about that), or I think I've responded when I haven't (hey, human here), because for the most part, my intentions are good. 

Are we good now?

Carpe diem,

You can also click on one of the following links to have the mastery coaching blog with helpful life and business tidbits geared to real estate's elite delivered to your computer,

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Promise Little, But Deliver Everything

When you promise less than clients or recipients are asking for and reduce their expectations, you have room to maneuver and the freedom to deliver something different (not just more) than perhaps either you or the client was expecting. You can create and invent. This may serve clients better than what they had even considered possible at the beginning of your association. Remember, clients don't usually know what they really want, so don't let yourself get too tightly boxed in.

Be sure to give clients what they paid you for, but don't stop there. You need to build a reserve or a gap, between what you promise and what you ultimately deliver. The wider the gap, the more vacuum you'll create and the more people will be affected or surprised by you. The more pleasantly surprised people are, the more their voices will sing your praises.

Why Do You Make Promises?

Are you constantly in a promise and deliver mode? Some people feel that if they don't or can't promise, they won't have the motivation or structure to deliver consistently. This turns promises into deadlines so that keeping your word becomes necessary. Of course, you should keep your word, but most people give it too readily. Some of the people you know might think they need you to make promises, creating a dependency. This type of promise and deliver system will cause you grief. You've got to stop promising anything at all and end your performance anxiety. Promising less provides freedom and begins progress.

Promise For Pleasure

Some people are so relieved when they deliver something that most of their joy comes from the delivery instead of the creation of what they delivered. Some people can enjoy both the doing and the delivery. You need to discover both what's motivating you after you made the initial promise and how you feel throughout the project.

You may produce greatly under the pressure of deadlines, but you may come to the realization that the personal and opportunity cost of doing so is far higher than the rewards or results generated.

Don't Promise, Just Deliver

Rather than telling people what you can do for them, rather than getting people interested enough to say yes, just be spontaneous and do something for them, without even offering to do it first. Most people enjoy surprises and there's no delay or performance anxiety because there was no promise, just delivery.

Deliver Something Different

Add a twist or an additional component to what the client expected. Don't just deliver 11 apples instead of 10, but toss in an orange too. The orange is something to surprise them with, but you haven't given them less apples. Perhaps the client will be fascinated by the orange and that can lead to your next piece of work.

Deliver All That Occurs

While you deliver the product or service, you may stumble upon something surprising about either the client, the product or service, or the situation the client is in. It may be totally unrelated to what you're being paid to deliver, but usually it makes sense to advise clients what you discovered so they become fully informed. These "chance" discoveries can lead to additional work or end up being worth more to the client than the project they paid you to deliver. Don't push what you discover; just casually advise clients of it.

Deliver Everything

Everything means you can create a bigger solution or product instead of just delivering what the client asked for. When you focus on delivering everything, you create more, and evolve both your skill set and the client. In this way, both of you progress instead of just getting current needs met. Make sure to always deliver what the client asked for, but orient what you're working on for clients so that it brings them (and you) to the next level.

Promise Nothing

Have enough reserve to do all of these things, but do them with such grace and style that your grace and style become as much a part of your service or product as what you're delivering. When you focus on delivering because you enjoy it, instead of delivering because you promised to, you are fed by joy instead of fear. You're working from reserve, instead of striving to meet targets.

Can you realistically promise nothing and still be successful? Yes, but you may need to start by underpromising and over-delivering. The gap between these two is pure profit - not just financially, but also in good reputation and self-esteem. People think more of you when you deliver far more (of what they want) than they were expecting. That gap starts people talking. If you delivered even the same amount, but had promised or over-promised it at the outset, the recipients would equally benefit, but they wouldn't be as impressed and they wouldn't talk about you. This is a key distinction for anyone in business who wants to build a strong reputation quickly.

Promise almost nothing to your clients (just enough to close the sale), but then begin the engine of over-delivering. Every time you over-deliver, you build up a reserve, of self-confidence, self-esteem, and referrals.

Carpe diem,

You can also click on one of the following links to have the mastery coaching blog with helpful life and business tidbits geared to real estate's elite delivered to your computer,

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It's over! 

Regardless of where you land on the political line, the uncertainty is gone and we can start to focus on getting back to business.  A good friend sent me this video today and with no political or religious bias, it reminds us why we are where we are and what we need to do to be prepared for the future. It will be a well spent 4 1/2 minutes of your time.

Click here to watch the video

Carpe diem,

You can also click on one of the following links to have the mastery coaching blog with helpful life and business tidbits geared to real estate's elite delivered to your computer,

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Building a PIPELINE of potential clients these days requires more than just post card that says "I'm Number One!" - you need to establish a personal brand to set yourself apart from the crowded marketplace of other REALTORS® who have the same or similar qualifications.

What is personal branding?  Personal branding is the way you clarify and communicate what is special about you, so that you don't have to talk so hard (or hope for the right question) to explain exactly why you're the best choice a buyer or seller could make in choosing a REALTOR®. With branding, you are communicating more information on more than simply a verbal level.

"A BRAND takes the place of an actual personal relationship by making it seem that there is a relationship when in fact, there is none!"  The BRAND is ‘what' we are remembered for.

Your personal brand is communicated through all visual and verbal communication, voice mail greeting, letters, listing presentations, personal web site, wardrobe choices used in meetings, handshake, contact card, and even your personal interests and behavior.  If any of these are inconsistent with the image you wish to project, your brand is compromised or at least weakened.

When developing your personal brand, ask yourself these questions:

• What do you want people to understand, think, and know when they see you/your marketing/your email?
• What is the essence of your value to an organization?  
• What makes you stand out? Your accomplishments, strengths, personal qualities, or just your hair color, the hat you wear ‘glamour shot'?

There is the story of the character actor who was wrestling with his personal brand because his primary value to directors was that he had a forgettable face.  He is neither handsome nor ugly, tall nor short, and even his hair was a nondescript color.  Although his credits are impressive, new casting directors never remembered him enough to call him back, even when they have been very enthusiastic about his auditions. 

After we did some work with the questions listed above, we decided to brand him as the "red sweater guy."  Why red?  Because red communicates passion, which is how he feels about acting, and the color stands out and is memorable, even though his face is not.

To every audition, he wore a red sweater.  On his resume attached to his black-and-white head shot, he wrote in red ink under his name, "the guy in the red sweater."  He began introducing himself as "Chris, the guy in the red sweater," as well as identifying himself on his phone messages and voice mail as "the guy in the red sweater." 

The result? The guy with the forgettable face became memorable, and effectively communicated his passion for acting by building a brand around a red sweater.

Correctly branding yourself will make you easier to remember, and will communicate much more than you can ever say in a cover letter or even an interview.

If you'd like to learn more about how to effectively brand yourself in ways that the consumer will respect and celebrate that are real estate related - check out http://www.parentrelocationcouncil.org/

Carpe diem,

You can also click on one of the following links to have the mastery coaching blog with helpful life and business tidbits geared to real estate's elite delivered to your computer,

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I read in Wired magazine the other day that Blogging is now old school.  It seems that some of the largest and most respected blogs in the tech sphere are shutting themselves down to explore themselves in Twitter-land. 

What are your thoughts on this trend?  Do you use Twitter?  How do you see it and/or  blogging working into your marketing plan in 2009?

BTW -

To find out more about Twitter, you can visit the link below and start following me as I launch off into new horizons:

http://twitter.com/i/3c41a91592c69b3b575723e64b5b1e3ee51002ff

About Twitter

Twitter is a unique approach to communication and networking based on the simple concept of status. What are you doing? What are your friends doing-right now? With Twitter, you may answer this question over SMS, IM, or the Web and the responses are shared between contacts.

People often ask me "what are the secrets to success in the real estate game?"  While the answer can be very long if we get into the details, there is a simple and short answer that applies to the cross section of the American entrepreneurial business landscape.  All of the secrets that we can control can be boiled down into one simple triad. 

The first is to develop a great attitude.  Not one that is born out of PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) delusion, but an attitude that is born out of true and real gratitude.  Remember, things can always be worse and although we cannot always dictate what happens in our life, we can control our response to it.  Without a perspective that can see opportunity within challenges and remain humble in our successes we will miss 90% of what life has to offer.

The second is to develop a vision that is bigger than you are.  Success follows leadership and a leader needs a vision or dream to inspire others to follow.  The "others" may be your team, your clients or your family.   You will need to be able to draw your strength from somewhere during the darker days.  Your vision or dream has to be big enough to drive you to do the most difficult of tasks - discipline yourself.

The third is to develop a tremendous work effort.  The greatest laid plans are worthless if not executed on.  Great ideas without implementation are the fodder of those who die with regret.  Work hard, work well, work smart and even an average skill set will make it.  Combine a great work ethic with your natural strengths and you will be unstoppable.

Carpe diem,

You can also click on one of the following links to have the mastery coaching blog with helpful life and business tidbits geared to real estate's elite delivered to your computer,

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How do you talk to yourself?  No really, when no one else is around how do you find yourself communicating with the person in the mirror?  Do you wake up and great yourself with a celebratory round of applause or do you stumble into the bathroom rub your eyes and bemoan how the scale is not cooperating and it "looks like it's going to be ‘one of those' days?"

I won't try and impress you with my extensive knowledge of Neuro-Linguistic Programming or the importance of the root word of "Logos" in the Original Greek Manuscripts of the New Testament.   What I will say, is that despite my understanding of how it works, I know that what we say and how we say it are really important. 

I don't pretend to understand the intricacies of the internal combustible engine of my car, but I have become fairly proficient at turning it on and getting to where I need to go.  Words and how we use them are just as important.  Now, please don't hear me say you need to lie to yourself, that is delusional and they have medication for people who live in fantasy worlds.  But do hear me say that you need to really watch the negativity that is not constructive and productive.  Do hear me say that you need to see yourself in a better light.  Do hear me say that you, despite your faults, should be celebrated because, if nothing else, you bear the fingerprint of God. 

Tomorrow set the alarm to go off with a CD full of applause, welcome yourself in the mirror and be thankful for another day, and relish every moment that you are alive.  Walk out your front door ready to Seize the Day and watch how your world will change for the better.

Carpe diem,

You can also click on one of the following links to have the mastery coaching blog with helpful life and business tidbits geared to real estate's elite delivered to your computer,

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